Roller coasters aren’t fun for me. The emotional one I’ve been on the last few days, left me much like a real roller coaster does, in tears.

Knowing the time left on our visa has been ticking down, I’ve scoured the internet for months, sending job leads to Geoff. Job leads in Canada, in places I’d want to live. Then a job opening in Edmonton came up. The job sounded right, so he applied. And they said please come interview.

The weeks leading up to the interview we talked about whether we all would travel back to Alberta to visit. I spent time looking at real estate online. I started cleaning the house, so if we had to sell, I wouldn’t feel overwhelmed. Ultimately, we decided Geoff would travel alone, but we did make the trip known to someone in Edmonton. In case Geoff needed anything, I wanted him to be able to reach out to someone without blindsiding them.

The interview went well, and Geoff called to say, we need to talk about this seriously. They were offering him a very nice job, a job with security. My mind wouldn’t calm down. The thought of picking up and leaving the U.S. consumed me. I talked to people about finances, selling the house, researched houses further. And all the while we prayed and talked about it.

Each day I thought we were settled one way, and then we’d swing the other way. I didn’t want to commit to a decision until Geoff spoke to his bosses. I felt ill to my stomach. I did not want to make a decision of this magnitude.

The morning of his meeting, he asked me, what do you think? I told him, it’s my dream to live here, to get the green card, and become a U.S. citizen. But my fear was that it wasn’t God’s dream for me. I had prepared myself that maybe some dreams don’t get realized.

When Geoff’s meeting had ended, the decision had been made. We were turning down the offer, we were going forward with the green card application, with assistance from the University. We were staying in Colorado, and praying that God would be sovereign over the green card process.

I got off the phone with Geoff and just cried. I knew I would cry at either decision. Because I had submitted to the idea of moving.

I’ve been pleased that the support we have gotten from family & friends has been favorable. It’s made it easier to have peace. My father-in-law called it a “gutsy” move, but I sensed pride. We’re not taking the easy road. I likened the decision to playing Deal Or No Deal. We could have taken the case with $750K, but we’re holding out that we’ll eventually get the $1M case.

And that million dollar case… that’ll be holding dual citizenships, Canadian and American.

Here are my green beans, beginning to sprout! So exciting!

Sprague Lake & the Rocky Mountains

It’s almost embarrassing that we have lived in Colorado for six years, and had never been to Rocky Mountain National Park.

Until Wednesday.

Taking advantage of free admittance to the National Parks, we heading up there right after Elijah got out of preschool. It took us two hours to drive up there, and the sights don’t get really good until you get past Lyons. The winding road that leads into Estes Park has been driven before. It’s a wonder we never got past the town to see the majesty that lies just a few miles later.

The elk were out in Estes Park, which encouraged me that we’d see some in RMNP, and we did. We stopped at Beaver Meadows Visitor Center, right outside the park to get our bearings. The man working in there offered the suggestion we go to Sprague Lake, an easy short hike for our little guys. We took him up on that, and found our way there. We settled at the picnic benches to eat out lunch, while the scrub jays hovered, watching to see if we’d leave them any crumbs (no dice birdies!)

The wind was chilly, so we let Miles finish his lunch in the car, out of the wind. We then bundled the boys in the hats & gloves Daddy brought. Compasses in hand the kids were raring to start the 1/2 mile hike around Sprague Lake.

the hikers

Given that it is still early in the season, the path had parts covered in snow. This did not deter or slow down the boys, eager to explore. There were other families out there too. This place offered a lot of great views to photograph.

For Geoff, the highlight was seeing the boys so excited to hike around the lake. For me, it was seeing a beaver in the lake. That was right after I told Elijah there were no beavers (oops). For the boys, it was a stop at the Rock Shop in Estes Park to build a collection.

The outing really fired all of us up to go camping. Bring on the food on the campfire!

Elijah thought this picture was funny- Elk Butts

I’d like to say that in the 13 years of marriage that my in-laws and I have never fought. But every few years we do. There is a lot of tension right now, and on the heels of some of them coming for a visit.

The reason for the fights are almost always the same. Distance & communication. We don’t live near each other, and we don’t communicate often. So things get said, things get twisted, and we have to try and resolve it all long distance. More often than not, I’m left feeling it never really got resolved to my satisfaction, and I just have to move on.

This last fight, involved too many people, when it really was between two couples. Add in a flair for dramatic (I wonder where my son gets *that* from), and emotions run high.

When I finally sat down and read my bible, I turned to Psalm 51. I was struck by verse 9, “Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity.” I acted in a way that made me wish God hadn’t seen it, and that I needed to call for him to blot out my wickedness.

In a few hours, our guests will be here, and either things will get worse, or God will work on all of us during the visit.