Uncomfortable

I became a Christian in 1999, at Woodbridge Community Church in California. I spent the next four years growing closer to God and other believers with a church family that was my family. Because our blood relatives were in Canada, our CA family (Kroliks, Pursleys, Eseras, Merrits) were the ones we experienced life with.

The move to CO made us leave our family, and we searched for a new church. The first one we visited wasn’t right, so the following week we drove out to Aurora to try Creekside. We got there late, it took us 45 minutes to drive out there from our place in Glendale. But Dave was leading worship and it was awesome. We were excited to stay. Pastor Jim spoke, and he was a great teacher. We knew this is where we wanted to be. We made friends, had a family “adopt” us for Thanksgiving, it was all good.

Time passed, friends moved, we had our first baby, but we were in a groove. Then staff changes happened. The Pastor took a break from the church. People started leaving. It was a time of uncertainty. The Pastor came back, just long enough to leave again, this time for good. More people left. We wondered if we should leave too. We felt that way off and on for months, seeking God’s answer. We never felt that He wanted us to leave. Creekside hired an interim Pastor, Randy, someone to be our shepherd while we waited for the right Pastor. Randy was just what we needed to heal. Finally the Elders and Pastor Search Team had found the guy, and we were invited to meet him and his wife. We met Josh & Molly, and I knew he would do great. This man had such a heart for the Lord.

And now, a little more than two years since he came, Josh is leaving. I couldn’t stop crying when he announced it. My heart was breaking. I really felt that this was right. We had a wonderful teacher, who could teach God’s truth, make us laugh, and make us feel convicted. Even when we needed to take a break from ministry, we knew Creekside was hearing God’s Word.

I realize that God is always reminding me that I’m not meant to be comfortable here on earth. This isn’t my forever. Change is a part of life, a painful part. Right now, I want to guard my heart, to not feel so deep. And I do, I guard myself, because I don’t want to get hurt. 2012 has already held a lot of change. What doesn’t change is Him. People will come and go in my life, but He won’t leave. He will stay faithful, even when I don’t.

This isn’t going to be easy. And it isn’t comfortable. It’s uncomfortable.

9 thoughts on “Uncomfortable

  1. I’m sorry to hear Josh is leaving. I really liked his preaching but you’re right, life is full of changes. Some good, some uncomfortable. We all must learn to deal with whatever life throws at us. I like to think we become better people for the experience

  2. Such a bummer to get settled and then not know the certainty of a church. It’s such a personal relationship – we searched long and hard for ours (turns out it was right under our noses, literally 7 houses down from us). I hope you find some place that brings you peace and comfort.

  3. I’ve been on both sides of that aisle, both as a pastor’s kid who moved around a lot and as a parishioner who lost a beloved pastor. No doubt about it, losing a good pastor sucks.

    Pastors have all kinds of reasons for moving around, and the younger they are, the more likely they are to move. It’s just a fact of life. The moves are often couched in terms of “God’s will” and “being called,” but the fact is, pastors are like everyone else … ready for the next challenge.

    Eight or nine years ago, a pastor we really loved retired, and we stuck it out with the new pastor for a while, but it became apparent that the new guy was, well, a jerk. We ended up leaving, along with many others, and kind of bounced around from church to church for the next few years. To me, that is the worst part: finding a new church home! Finally, we heard thru the grape vine where our former pastor was attending, so we tried it out, and we love it.

    I like our current pastor a lot, but one thing I’ve learned over the years is, a pastor does not a church make. Our pastor will eventually move on too (probably retire), and the church will have to be prepared for the upheaval. There are a lot of good ministers out there, and your church will find the right man for the job. I completely understand the frustration of losing a good pastor, especially after such a short period of time! Have faith that there is a good shepherd out there for you yet.

  4. So sorry to hear Melissa. How blessed we are to have had shephers to “make us laugh, and make us feel convicted”. It’s a perfect mix. Kaisara & I are going through the same thing right now. Looking for a pastor, worship leader & youth pastor. No fun but it has been awesome watching my church rally together & be a family. I pray yours does too. Keep me posted. Love you.

  5. You expressed beautifully the heartbreak so many of us have been through and in this broken world, will again. BUT you nailed it — What doesn’t change is Him!!! Keep Jesus in front of you, follow His will, and the Armstrong family will be stronger in heart (& arms) :0

  6. Sorry, M – change is so hard esp. when you can’t see the other side of it. Love that you shared your processing. We need to talk — lots of connections I didn’t know we had!!

  7. I totally agree, your church is more than 1 man…. and you will become stronger, you hold on ……love you lots……

  8. Pingback: Beautiful Things | Age of Melissius

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