Out Of Sorts

This post is just to get out the thoughts that cloud my head.

I had a dream last night about an old flame. We had dinner at his house with his family. No one had aged, his youngest sister looked the way I remember her, his other sister still stared at me with a hatred, and his parents were still indifferent to each other. The house was not his house, it was some other house.

This is pretty much the extent of the dream. There weren’t many words said by anyone, it was more like there were feelings felt. Awkwardness and comfort at the same time. I had a song stuck in my head all night, so it was kind of like the soundtrack. It’s my new favorite song, I walk around with it in my head all the time, I’m always singing it.

Over My Head (Cable Car) – The Fray

I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that’s how it’s got to be
It’s coming down to nothing more than apathy
I’d rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who’s still standing when it clears

Everyone knows I’m in
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She’s on your mind

Let’s rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that’s disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

Everyone knows I’m in
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She’s on your mind

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I’m becoming the part that don’t last
I’m losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won’t let it go down till we torch it ourselves

Everyone knows I’m in
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She’s on your mind

I always feel weird the day after a dream about someone in my past. It’s like I forget the truth about the past, and I gloss over the negative. I feel like things were left unresolved, but that isn’t true. Most of my past relationships (be romantic or friendship) ended clearly. But even now, I can’t recalled how it all ended. And it’s a door I know God doesn’t want me to open. I know no good would come of speaking to this person. It’s all very weird, and I’ll probably feel odd all day.

I think I know what brought on the dream, it was a movie I caught on tv yesterday. Something about the main character reminded me of him.

I also had a dream that I was planning a trip with a woman from my Mom To Mom group. I think we were going to go somewhere on a boat. Her husband wasn’t thrilled with this idea, but she didn’t care. It’s funny because I would never take a trip with her. I probably wouldn’t hang out with her. She’s nice enough, but there are few people I like to take trips with. So she would not make the cut.

Speaking of trips, Chad & Khara made mention of a road trip they wanted to do, so we’ll have to look into it. It’s funny to meet someone else who wants to visit the same place you do. Both Khara & I are interested in going to Nederland for Frozen Dead Guy Days. Since it’s next month we need to solidify plans if that’s what we’ll do.

Elijah slept 16 hours last night. Crazy huh? Hey, I told him he needed his rest, and thankfully his body agreed with me.

I’ll close with a quote from She’s The One.

Mickey Fitzpatrick: Why are you getting so upset Dad? You don’t even believe in God.
Mr. Fitzpatrick: That doesn’t mean I’m going to stop being a good Catholic.

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